Caught Amidst the Smouldering Embers
by Baku97
Summary: It's not unknown, that the life of a shinobi is hard. Filled with death, pain, fleeting loves and lost loved ones. So what happens when someone alien to such a world, a foriegn tongue, culture, way of living, suddenely gets dropped into it, caught amidst the smouldering embers of one of the most turbulant generations the shinobi world has ever seen. Self-Insert/OC


Yo wanted to write a self-insert so here it is. Again depending on how it's received may continue it may not.

Ps. This isn't a reincarnation fic, or one of traditional sorts anyway. You may finding some similarities between 'Dreaming of Sunshine' however that should just be in the structure, I haven't read that fic completely only the first couple of chapters.

Enjoy.

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My name is Shin'ichi Seikatsu.

It is a name that was given to me by the third Hokage of Konohagakure. It means a variety of things, however the meaning I like is: "true one life".

I remember finding the irony oddly amusing when I found that one out.

It hasn't always been my name, what it was before, I forget. But if you were to ask friends, loved ones, family, they'd say it's who I am. Shin'ichi. And is who I've always been.

But the truth is, it isn't who I've always been.

And Shin'ichi Seikatsu isn't just Shin'ichi Seikatsu, he is someone else also. Just as that someone else is him.

And while I live the life of Shin'ichi Seikatsu, twistedly blissful in the chaotic world he resides, I know deep down that I am someone else, and feels as though I am acting a part in some sick play. A private show held for the devil and his minions. Not that I believe in the devil. Or God. But it gets the point across.

So you may be thinking, well just who are you then? And, why are you speaking in riddles?

Well I'd like to tell you. But in true storytelling fashion, I'd like to begin where it all started, to tell the tale of how I got caught amidst the smouldering embers.

I remember feeling tired. Unbelievable so. Every muscle in my body screamed and my bones ached. I felt as though I was a dead weight sat at the bottom of a vast ocean, exposed to the furious pressure of millions of gallons of water pressing down on me. It hurt. A lot.

As my senses began to swirl and contort and return to me I started to pick up the faint chitter chatter of birds pleasantly singing their songs. I say pleasant because looking back, it sounded so. Then, however their songs were harsh and tortuous to my ears.

Tentatively I opened my eyes, and managed to make out a hazy blur of green and blue before a rush of raw sunlight struck my sensitive retinas causing me to shut them tightly. More pain. Great.

Realising I was temporally unable of doing, well doing anything really, my mind began to wonder as fresh anxieties surfaced.

Had I been in some horrific accident? No, I didn't recall being in one. The last thing I remember was falling into a deep sleep in the comfort of my own bed. Then, memory loss? Had taken a knock to the head and suffered brain damage? Was I paralysed?

I began to hyperventilate as anxiety tightened its ice cold grip around me and my body reacted so.

Fresh pain filtered through me as my jerking breaths agitated the sore muscles around my ribs and neck.

I lay there, panicking, for a few moments before allowing myself time to calm down and regain composure. The futility of my anxiety reached me as my breathing returned to normal and my mind cleared.

The bird song suddenly didn't seem so unpleasant, and I lay, perfectly still, simply listening to the soft chirping. Worrying wasn't going to get me anywhere. And so I relaxed. Certain that if I had been an accident there was nothing I could do in my current predicament and it would be best to get some rest. Surely, I would be taken to the hospital and all would be well. Nothing to worry about.

Oh how wrong I was.

* * *

When I woke for the second time it was night. I could tell that much as the sun didn't lighten up the inside of my eyelids and the quaint sound of crickets and owls and other night life echoed around me. I opened my eyes cautiously again and was surprised to see that I wasn't in a hospital, or any form of building in fact. I appeared to be in some sort of forest. Up above me the twinkling of starlight littered the velvet sky and a few trees sat stretched across my vision. I took a moment to take in the sight. I absolutely adored the stars at night, and when living in a city the sky pollution doesn't grant you such a view, so this was a rarity for me. One I enjoyed, despite my current situation. And did so for years to come.

It was then that I noticed the pain had was almost nearly gone. It had been reduced to a dull throbbing. The kind that doesn't bother you and is more uncomfortable than anything else however when you try to move it returns in full force.

I was to experience this many a time in my new life as Shin'ichi. And that was the first.

In all honesty I wasn't surprised by the sudden influx of pain as I tried to sit up however nonetheless I dropped back to the ground in a slump, breathing hard, a sweat forming was on my brow.

It took about 10 minutes I'd say for me to get into the sitting position, and then from there, shakily make my way to my feet.

It was strange really. It felt like every single cell was hurting.

Every. Single. One.

I remember laughing as I bit back tears at how ridiculously hopeless I was at the time. It was funny then, not so funny now.

Pain does wonders to one's mental state.

I'd managed to stumble my way over next to a tree and was leaning on it for support. I stood there regaining my composure for a few moments trying to gain my bearings before setting off again. I wasn't walking anywhere in particular, I figured that even walking in a random direction would be better than sitting and doing nothing feeling sorry for myself.

Teeth clenched, face sweaty, legs shaky I tripped and shuffled and stumbled through the forest, intent on finding some sort of civilisation.

I'd been walking for what felt like hours however was more like 30 minutes when I felt my hope dwindle. And just at that point, as the dread of being stranded in a strange forest started to grip me, flickers of light began to shine through the thick brush like little fireflies dancing in and out of the shrubbery.

Hope reignited, I strode forward with renewed vigour. Swatting low lying branches aside and wincing as I stood on uncomfortable twigs and the like along the way. The lights in front of me grew brighter as I began to make out what looked like a small market dotted with stands with some shops along the back wall of houses. It looked like the edge of a village, a small country village, very unfamiliar. However I didn't pick up on that at the time. I was too intent on simply making it there. As I broke through the last bush, I fell to my knees as the dull aching began to reign over my body once again. I looked up and noticed a few people had been looking my way however they quickly turned their heads away when I made eye contact.

Strange.

Was the one word that went through my head as I took in the small outskirts market. It looked old fashioned. Vendors wore plain clothing of dull colours and some walking through the streets even wore robes. And the people themselves looked foreign, from whereabouts I couldn't tell.

Was this a touristy area? A re-enactment of some form?

I quickly scratched that thought as I noticed even that everyone was seemingly the same race, or ethnicity anyway. Steadily, I got to my feet placing a hand on my knee for support and walked hesitantly forward. Taking note of how people avoided eye-contact with me and went out of their way to get out of my path.

I frowned, not seeing reason to the treatment however shrugged it off deeming it unimportant.

That was when however I noticed the sounds around me. Or more specifically, the talk. I couldn't understand it. In fact I couldn't even recognize it. Now I may not have been bilingual however I prided myself in being relatively cultured, hence my surprise when the language sounded absolutely alien to me. The closest thing to I recall thinking was Japanese, but I was sure it wasn't.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and instead set upon finding a hospital, and so I approached the next person who walked by hoping they'd speak English, which happened to be a middle-aged lady wearing a faded red dress with a blue apron over it and her tied up in a bun.

"Excuse me, do you know where the nearest hospital is?" I asked slowly, surprised at how high pitched and hoarse my voice sounded, but put it the back of mind dubbing it due to not speaking for a while.

I expected a variety of responses from the lady, from confusion and an apology in her language to and friendly smile and directions however what I didn't expect was her to recall in shock at my voice, confusion riddle across her face followed by poorly masked fear before she clutched the bag in her hand to her chest and quickly walked away.

I remember standing for a good minute. Frozen, one arm slightly outstretched the other by my side, legs slightly wobbly.

At that point, and I'm not ashamed to say, I cried. It wasn't full on sobbing. However, a couple tears escaped my quickly brimming eyes and washed down my cheeks. I touched my hand to the liquid and held it out in front of me, looking at the fluid with a curious wonder, as if I'd never seen tears before.

It was then that I noticed I was stood in front of a shop window and happened to catch my reflection.

I froze. The reaction was instant. As if some otherworldly force and suddenly seized control of my body.

The reflection I saw in the window, the hand held up in front of the face, the tear streaked cheeks, the legs slightly bent from exhaustion, shoulders slumped with fatigue. It wasn't mine.

It was me. But it wasn't my body. Staring back at me was the face of a maybe 9 or 10 year old with a mess of dirty white hair, skin pale, nearly as white as the hair. The body was skinny with what seemed like malnutrition and off the small frame hung a torn white t-shirt and a pair of black shorts in similar a condition. The only thing that was mine, or "me" rather was the eyes. I still had my dark green eyes with small freckles of hazel.

I approached the window and placed my hand on the surface as the figure in the reflection did the same. We stood, hand pressed against one another's as I stared in awe.

This must be a dream, I remember thinking. It had to be.

But it wasn't.

I raised my other hand and pinched my cheek hard, ignoring the pain.

Nothing.

Still the white hair, pale face, skinny frame.

I pinched again.

Nothing again.

I noticed in the reflection of window a small crowd of people had formed watching me with morbid fascination and were whispering amongst.

Overwhelmed by their stares and my current predicament, I did what anyone would do.

I ran.

Naturally I didn't know where I was going. However along my random jog, whilst stumbling and scampering through the winding streets of the strange and unfamiliar town I started to notice certain oddities.

Like the occasional person I'd pass wearing what seemed to be combat gear. The most common being a dark green flak jacket, blue trousers and sandals.

Or the occasional person who I swear I recognized, but couldn't picture where I would know them from. Like a girl who looked in her late teens, early twenties wearing an open beige trench coat with a mesh shirt underneath exposing her large breasts and a burnt orange skirt, her light-purple hair tied up in a high ponytail. I knew her. I was sure of it.

I remember slowing down slightly as she came into sight and then passed me and locked eyes with her for a second as she stared me down out of the corner of her eyes. How strange.

In fact I'd been thinking the town was strange and unfamiliar however it wasn't. Well it definitely was strange, how it wasn't unfamiliar. And what scared me most as I sprinted the through the streets as heads turned with obvious displeasure, was that I couldn't put a finger on how it seemed familiar, only that it did so.

I came to a messy and uncoordinated stop as my muscles finally gave in and my lungs screamed for air. Placing my hands on my knees I bent over, taking in large breaths of air as my new bangs covered my eyes.

I remember at that point, despite my body burning and my heart feeling it was going to jump out of my chest, feeling oddly calm. As if everything that had happened, all the fear, despair, pain, confusion had boiled over, reached its climax and then nothing. I didn't feel worried, or anxious or curious even. I didn't really feel anything.

A chorus of shouts broke me out of my empty musings as I rose, standing as straight as possible to see a small boy get thrown out a shop at the side of the road that stretched forward in front of me.

I watched as the boy, most likely only 5 or 6 cursed at the shop keeper who stood in the doorway with a broom in hand with a shake of the fist from his position on the floor, his shaggy blond hair ruffled and his white t-shirt dirty with mud.

The boy then got to his knees, back facing me as he the shopkeeper returned inside and the boy steadily got to his feet.

It was when he turned to face me however that I got the second shock of the day.

Three scars or birthmarks were etched onto each of the boy's cheeks, making them look like whisker marks. His bright cerulean eyes sparkled as his face, set in a frown turned to me.

My eyes couldn't have widened any quicker.

"Oi what the hell you lookin' at?" I didn't respond. How could I? I knew who that boy was. Or who he looked like anyway. But it couldn't be him, right? Impossible, right?

"Oi I'm talkin' to you!" The boy's face hardened and I took an unconscious step back before I once again froze in my spot as a tired, mirthless smile cracked my lips.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

There, stood proud in the distance behind the blond-haired boy with the whisker marked cheeks were four painstakingly detailed faces carved into a large cliff face, the very expression of each feature captured in stone. Their rough outlines brought to life, right before my eyes.

That point, I believe was my true boiling point. As the four imposing faces stared down at me, my mind grew foggy, and my vision blurred before blackening completely as one thought resonated though out my mind.

" _Fuck_."

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Thanks for reading dudes and duddettes. Fav, follow and review if you're feeling it.

Thanks.


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